mooblog

The flash drive, a pinnacle of convenient portable information storage, and completely inadequate to survive a single day in my home. Now I am not throwing them around, stepping on them, driving over them (see below), or abusing them in any way. I simply plug them into a computer, walk away for a little to handle whatever is demanding my immediate attention at the time and when I return, it is inexplicably bent!

((PHOTO COMING SOON))

After this happened to my first flash drive, I told myself, it was just a cheap thing anyway and decided to invest in the kind that safely retreat into their casing when not in use. This lasted a full two days before it was borrowed and once found again, sticking out of one of my workers computers, was inexplicably bent and refused to retreat into its housing again. Of course, no one was near it when it happened, not my employees, and not my boyfriend.

This brings me to one inescapable conclusion… The CATS!!!

more cat pictures

They hate flash drives and are on a mission to secretly destroy any I purchase. But they have yet to meet “SanDisk Cruzer Titanium”. I wonder if it was cat tested….

Do I have ants on the brain? The war with the ants in my house went better than I could have ever hoped. I have not seen a single ant today. But it seems I may have gotten them out of my house only to get them stuck in my head. The fable of the ant and the grasshopper is one that fixed itself in my imagination. There was the hard working ant, the all work and no play ant, slaving away through summer. Then there was the lazy, carefree grasshopper, playing his fiddle and enjoying his summer without a worry in the world. The ant lives through the harsh winter because of his diligence, while the grasshopper starves for his “crimes” of idleness and negligence.

What does this story tell us? Some people say it is a lesson to prepare for the future and I will not disagree. It is a good idea to be prepared for the worst and to put away something for the future in good times. But I think perhaps I see it a bit more cynically. I see it as promoting hard work, conformity, and self sacrifice at the expense of enjoyment of life. The ant works hard all summer and never gets to enjoy the beautiful weather and bountiful food, because he is too preoccupied with preparing for winter. There is a struggle in there that we all must face. The struggle to deny ourselves now that we may have more later and to do the safe thing to ensure a comfortable and long life versus the need to find enjoyment and joy in life, to take risks, to treasure the moment and take advantage of the “summer days” of life. I just cannot bring myself to believe that we should entirely sacrifice our identity and our happiness, for the safety of conformity and work. I think to say you should be the hard working ant or the happy grasshopper is too limited of a view, as both perspectives are too extreme and so bring about their own inadequacies.

Somewhere in between delayed and instant gratification is the promised land. A balance between being happy now and being secure in the future. The truth is that the lazy grasshopper does not always die. Sometimes he strikes it rich, incurring the envy and wrath of all the hard workers around him. Life does not always deal out a just reward based on how hard or long you labor, instead some people are born into security or stubble upon it and others will never achieve it, despite noble efforts to overcome their state in life. Security is a fleeting illusion that we like to hold onto and comfort ourselves with. It is all well and good to plan for the future and prepare for it, but not at the expense of the present. When there is a difficult journey ahead of me, I always tell myself “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” (Confucius) It helps me keep moving when I am overwhelmed by all that life has laid at my feet. Sometimes it feels as though I will never reach the end, there is a weight upon my shoulders and the labor of each step is too hard to bare. When do you stop torturing yourself for some future ideal? The truth is that even though it is hard, it should not be torture. You need to make the time to enjoy the present. You need to find ways to enjoy and appreciate the journey and not just the reward. It is not always pleasant or easy, but if it were, it would not be worth the effort. The trick is to find the balance and make peace with the journey. Take pride in your accomplishments and industriousness, but also know when to stop and enjoy some of the fruits of your labor. Easier said then done. I know I have not yet found that equilibrium, but in the end, I think it is worth the effort. As a great Ferengi once said, “The greater the risk, the greater the reward.” It is not for the faint of heart, but if you take a few risks, it can be its own reward in self discovery and fulfillment.

There is nothing quite like waking up tired and groggy, dragging yourself out of bed, making the long journey to the kitchen to round up a bowl and cereal, and sitting in your favorite chair to have your breakfast and begin the slow process of coming back to reality, and opening your cereal to discover…. ITS MOVING!! Oh what a lovely way to start any day “The Klingon Way” with cereal that is alive and crawling! Needless to say, I was not happy this morning, when instead of having Sugar Puffs, I got to enjoy a protein bar that I keep for mornings I feel ambitious enough to run on.

Now I am not perfect. I have been very busy recently and have not always emptied the trash cans promptly and there are usually a few dishes in my sink at any given time, but not enough to support a colony of ants. It started with one or two in the bathroom. They seem to come from the sink? Mike hates killing anything, so I just threw them outside and doubled my efforts to keep my house clean. Took out all the trash, did all the dishes, vacuumed all the crumbs, swept the floor and went for a weekend trip, satisfied that those ants would leave my house with empty stomachs. Alas, it will not be so easy for me. Before I left last week, I had an unpleasant feeling between my toes as I was doing the dishes and looked down to find an ant crawling up my leg. Breakfast this morning was the last draw! This means war!! And I intend to be victorious. Trespassers beware!

Wonder is the beginning of wisdom.
Greek Proverb

The older you get, the more naive it seems to express wonder, awe, amazement, and admiration. Yet wonder opens the mind to new possibilities and connections. It is a great way to expand beyond your normal way of thinking and increase your enjoyment of life. I invite you to share a few of my wonders and comment with some of your own.

Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit.
e e cummings (1894 - 1962)

MUSIC

Ah, music. A magic beyond all we do here!
J. K. Rowling

Music at its simplest, is vibrations in the air which our ear drums and brains then translate into sounds. Yet these vibrations have the ability to provoke powerful emotions. They can lift you up when you are feeling blue, make you want to move in ways you would normally find mortifying in public, keep you going when you are tired, or amaze you with complexity. The ways in which music effects people have often astonished me. That and perhaps the fact that out of tiny little headphones on my MP3 player, I feel as if at a concert for one. Speakers, though simplistic in design have also amazed me with their ability to recreate so many different sounds as an orchestra or jazz band can provide.

I think I should have no other mortal wants, if I could always have plenty of music. It seems to infuse strength into my limbs and ideas into my brain. Life seems to go on without effort, when I am filled with music.
George Eliot (1819 - 1880)

SPACE

To Boldly Go Where No Man Has Gone Before!
William Shatner

Ok, so I give myself away as a sci fi fan from Star Trek to Star Wars to Stargate and everywhere in between. When life on earth has got you down, why not be whisked away to another planet far, far away. And lets not forget the writers Arthur C. Clarke whose 2001: A Space Odyssey, and Childhood’s End kept me spellbound, Orson Scott Card whose Ender’s Game and sequels are brilliant, and Isaac Asimov one of the most prolific science fiction writers of all time (I know I have left many out, but perhaps in a future I will go into detail). The truth is that space is vast and wondrous in and of itself with only a telescope, but it is also the amazing birthplace of many fantastic stories since the beginning of man and our own travels into it both real and imagined are an equally amazing story.

One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.
Neil Armstrong

CATS

There is, incidentally, no way of talking about cats that enables one to come off as a sane person.
Dan Greenberg

Cats are a great source of entertainment, love, cuteness, and wonder. To watch a cat stalk a piece of string or fight over a window seat is better than TV most times. Their delight in a mouse shaped toy, a laser beam, or a mouse cursor is an unending wonder.

Cats do not have to be shown how to have a good time, for they are unfailingly ingenious in that respect.
James Mason

FROGS

I’d kiss a frog even if there was no promise of a Prince Charming popping out of it. I love frogs.
Cameron Diaz

Frogs are truly marvelous! They come in a variety of sizes from as small as a fingernail to over a foot (Goliath frog without legs extended) and they are found on every continent except Antarctica, but who really counts that anyway? Some frogs are even capable of cryogenically freezing themselves for the winter and thaw again in the spring! Frogs also transform from tiny water bound tadpoles to mostly land loving adults. As if that were not enough, frogs are also good luck. Because of the large number of eggs they lay, they are often a sign of fertility and abundance. In Egypt, frogs were so important, that they were often embalmed when they died. Irish folklore uses frog symbols to attract good fortunes. In the Orient frogs are believed to bring money and wealth. In Rome, the frog was a mascot believed to bring good luck to the home. In Latin countries as well as in Europe, frogs have been a subject of inspiration in the arts as well.

If we can discover the meaning in the trilling of a frog, perhaps we may understand why it is for us not merely noise but a song of poetry and emotion.
Adrian Forsyth

We think too small, like the frog at the bottom of the well. He thinks the sky is only as big as the top of the well. If he surfaced, he would have an entirely different view.
Mao Tse-Tung

That’s 4 wonders for today. I’m going to try for 10 total. Well, as Kermit once said, “Time’s fun when you’re having flies.”

The major problem I have had this year and probably for many years, but never felt so acutely before, is making decisions. I admit, at times I am overly optimistic and prone to impulsively jumping into things. In the grand scheme of my life, I do not think these traits have hindered me much. Now decisions seem to have a more lasting impact and while I truly believe that important decisions should be carefully considered, this has been torture recently.

The questions, well just career and home, nothing that will change the course of history or anything, but probably the biggest decisions of my life. I comfort myself with the belief that no matter how badly you screw up your life, you can change it around. I am a firm believer that at any age you can go back to school or change your career. But I can’t help wanting to make the right decision now. Should I buy a house or keep renting and saving as much as I possibly can? Should I stay with my current job and how long should I stay before venturing off to try my luck at my own business?

I am fervently committed to building a life of freedom from middle management mediocrity and from working for anyone who does not permit me a level of freedom in the workplace that is uncommon in almost every respect. This does not mean I feel that I am too good to work a normal job, in fact I have had many normal jobs and enjoyed my time working them. It only means that I do not wish to stay at an unfulfilling job because of fear and a need for security. I am not another “good worker” to be drawn along with a good paycheck, while others make their fortunes on the back of “good workers” that have been lulled in by the promise of a secure job with reasonable pay. I want to be the fortune maker. I do not need to make millions, although millions would be nice.

I just want freedom. Freedom to pursue my interests and hobbies to there full extent. Freedom to work where I want to. Freedom to work when I want to. The freedom that comes from following your dreams and I have some big dreams. Idealistic? Maybe, but why not? What do I really have to lose from demanding what I want and actively seeking it? I think not as much as most would fear. So why the dilemma, if all can be fixed? If nothing is permanent? The trouble is that some decisions, while not permanent, are long lasting, like buying a house or leaving a good job. While there may not be a right or wrong, there is definitely a helpful to goals and dreams and a burden to goals and dreams and now I must try to figure out which is which and in a short time, as some opportunities do not last as long as one might hope.

For all the advice from friends and family, in the end you have to trust yourself and perhaps God to choose the right path for you. You need to know yourself, really know yourself and that is the hardest part of making a good decision for you. Not basing it on scientific or practical reasoning. Although they can help, they only go so far and you need to acknowledge your emotional and spiritual needs as well. Ignoring those is why I am in a bind now, and listening to them is how I will proceed to fix my current dilemma, no coin flipping needed.